Tag Archives: relationships

Reviews

Book Review & A Giveaway: The Expectation Gap

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The Expectation Gap says, “The key to managing expectations is to identify them and adjust them based on reality, not try to make reality conform to the expectations.”

The Expectation Gap was written by Jamie Hallman, CEO of a real estate business and world traveler. Jamie found herself enjoying others more for who they were when she took the burden of expectation out of the equation.

Jamie lays out a comprehensive guide to identifying and applying the tools to transform relationships. She says every relationship can benefit from identifying, setting, and communicating proper expectations.

I could relate to the need to identify, because expectations often lie below the surface until they are exposed by disappointment. How many times have we been hurt by something we didn’t know we wanted? Setting expectations is another way to establish boundaries in a relationship and helps us to know guidelines for relating to each other. Communicating expectations is the hardest part for me, knowing when it is appropriate to take that step in a relationship. Jamie helps the process by modeling the approach and follow up.

The Expectation Gap helps me see how interaction with my grands impacts their self-esteem. When I say, “You are smart, kind, sweet and I love spending time with you,” I am speaking into their character, and they will rise to fulfill that role. When I have unmet expectations in my marriage, I can be more mindful of interactions and notice my role in the interpretation of that expectation.

The Expectation Gap will encourage you in your quest toward your most authentic self and help you to dig deeper for transformation in yourself and with others.

I am giving away a copy of The Expectation Gap to one reader in the continental United States. Leave a comment on my blog (at the top of this post, under the title). You will be entered into the drawing to be held on Thursday night, April 25. Tell me an example of a way to speak life into a relationship. Get an extra chance to win, when you share this post on social media (let me know where).

Sally

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Retreats

How Do Your Retreat Numbers Measure Up?

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As I put retreat flyers in our church mailboxes Saturday, I thought about our motives for inviting so many women. It’s not about the numbers, really.  It’s about including each and every one into our circle of friends.  That seems like a high aspiration, but it’s not all up to the leaders at that point.  When we can facilitate opportunities for relationships to happen, we are stepping up the possibility for one more woman to know she is a valued member of the human race.

That’s what it’s all about isn’t it? To connect people to each other and to the God who created them to be in relationship?

Over the eleven years of planning our spring women’s retreat, we’ve seen the group range from 48 to 77 in attendance, but the quantity is still not our main focus! We always ask, “What can we do to create an atmosphere where women will connect?”

The response may take on a different shape each year, but here are five key factors.

1) Create Fun!  Make your trip one where giggles can abound.  Where there’s laughter, healing will follow, and relationships will happen naturally.  We have ice breakers, skits, and generally role out the carpet for humor.

2) Create Intimacy!  The opportunity to share life’s burdens with another lightens the load.  One-on-one conversations and group discussions will assist the progress of new insights.  Interaction can take place at meal time or around the campfire or even while carpooling home.

3) Create Release!  Getting away from the daily routine of life is essential in order to let go of stress.  Provide walks outdoors for fresh air or indoor games for group interaction.  Have you seen grown women do cannonballs in the pool?!

4) Create Inspiration!  Give food for thought to get creative juices flowing, and to facilitate the opportunity for each to reconnect with the Lord.  Special words from speakers or quiet time with a Bible will enable the mind to cultivate renewal.

5) Create Security!  Remember the Cheers theme song?  “People are all the same;  You want to go where everybody knows your name.”  We all need a safe haven where we can feel like family, and that requires intentional effort and time to nurture.

When you focus on the individuals who come, they will bring their friends and build numbers later on. But it all begins with creating an occasion for women to remember that they are cherished and loved, one person at a time.

How do you create an atmosphere where women will connect?

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Sally

You can find more articles like this, here.

For more tips on Retreat Planning, see my ebook, How to Plan a Women’s Retreat!